It still shocks me

That my legs can keep moving on long runs.  That I can go on long runs. 

Today I did 9 miles.  I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time and the heaviest I've been going this far.  But I still felt pretty good during my run.  I had to go slow because of the conditions on the path and the fact that I am just a slow runner. 

But I was thinking during this run - that sometimes it still is shocking to me that I run and that I am capable of going long distances.  I still don't really consider myself an athlete.  Especially right now, since I'm so heavy AND so slow.  I am so proud of myself for getting through this run and not stopping.  I so wanted to stop a few times.  It was cold and the path was snow covered, slushy and icy.  But I kept going and felt SO good!! :)

And I did run twice last week (super short runs which I was NOT happy about) but did not blog about it.  I really had wanted too - but I was too mad at myself to post about it.  I guess I should have still wrote about it.  Maybe it would have helped me.

I really needed my run today too - I heard a particular song on the radio this morning that just got me, like it usually does.  And I was crying and thinking about things and how different my life might have been.  I'm happy with how my life is going but I still get sad about things sometimes - today was one of those days.  Stupid songs.  And stupid me for not changing the station.  But those old feelings of deserving to feel sad came back, so I kept it there.  And was just crying in the car on the way to Biggby.  But at least I ran my feelings out this afternoon rather than eating them.  That's a plus, right? 

Sorry this is kind of all over the place, I was writing while cooking dinner and then finished it up after I ate dinner.  Anyway.  Next weekend - my first double digit run in a LONG time.  10 miles. 

Oh!  I start my new job tomorrow.  I'm super nervous but super excited.  AND!  It should make it easier to exercise/run either before or after work.  Since I will have a set schedule and won't have to get up so early that it feels like it's still night to work out.  And I no longer have a half hour commute so it'll be easier to run/exercise after because I won't get home after 6 pm.  :D

I forgot to write about my run last night!

It was ok - I put the pace at 5 mph and kept with it for pretty much the whole 2 miles.  I did up it near the end to 5.1 to get done a little faster.  I did have to stop a few times after a mishap with the recycling bin (lol... recycling fell all over the treadmill as I was running on it... I was dodging plastic jugs and cardboard boxes) and to turn on the overhead fan.

I think I am done with pop for awhile.  I had diet coke yesterday and omg I felt like crap last night.  I don't drink pop often - especially when I am eating well (which is not right now).  But I think the combination of the caffiene and artificial sweetener made me feel sick.  Thankfully that is not a hard thing for me to give up because I can't drink/consume a lot of caffiene because it makes me jittery unless I am using it prior and during a run and I prefer to drink water most of the time anyway.

But I felt good during my run - it was hard, that's for sure.  But I had fun.  I just hope it warms up soon (I'll take 35 and sunny!) so I can run outside more often.  It's just too cold for me. 

Thank you, Moulin Rouge and The Biggest Loser

For getting me through this awful run on the treadmill.  I had 7 miles to do and had planned to do it outside but chickend out.  It was cold out and when I got to the park, I had to pee and the bathrooms are closed for the season.  And I was cold.  And wanted to not run at all. 

So I came home and got on the treadmill.  It sucked.  I kept stopping - had to go to the bathroom, start the next video, turn on the fan.  I told myself that I could stop at 3.5 miles.  That I didn't have to do the full 7.  Well 3.5 came and then 4 and then 5. 

And I started to feel good.  I did the last 2 miles in just over 28 minutes and my last mile was my fastest.  I wanted to run faster.  I kept upping the speed and was keeping up.  My last mile was 13:40 but my overall pace was 15:13.  Which I am really happy about. 

I added some songs from Moulin Rouge to my ipod and having new music has been super helpful this week.  I forgot how much I liked the music from that movie :)

I was also watching TBL and seeing them finish a tri was pretty awesome.  I'm not sure if I'll ever do a tri but hearing the woman who won, talk to herself and encourage herself inspired me to keep going and finish my run strong.

So yeah, 7 miles DONE!  DONE! :D Next week's 5 miles is nothing... and then...NINE miles.  It's been forever since I've gone that far.  I just hope I can do it outside and NOT on the treadmill. 

My pace and distance are improving.  I still have that eating part to work on. 

All 3 runs in this week!

Though, not exactly when and how I was supposed to do them.  This week my schedule had 3 3 mile runs for Tues, Wed and Thursday plus a long run on the weekend (7 miles).  Last week, I skipped two of the 3 mile runs and only did one and the long run.  This week I did run 3x but did 1.2 miles, 4 miles and 3.8 miles.  And plan to do 7  miles tomorrow.

But!  It's better.  I'm slowly improving at doing all the runs.  I do still plan to try to make up those 6 miles I missed the first week.  Maybe I'll try to get one in next week. 

I had to run on the treadmill again today.  I was not paying attention to the weather and should have run yesterday - no snow and it was "warm".  But I didn't and today we're getting like 5 inches.  I was going to just do my long run in the park today, because, despite the snow it's kind of "warm" and there isn't much wind.  But I'm not sure how quickly they clear the path at the park and I kept hearing sirens outside so I really didn't want to drive today.

And hey, I was a minute faster per mile today for my almost 4 miles than I was last week with a 3 mile run.  That's an improvement!  I kept a fairly steady pace of 12:45 for almost 3 miles and then was trying to get done quicker and would up the speed and then have to lower it again.  I did take a pee break and two water breaks but overall I felt better during *most* of this run.  Which is again, an improvement. 

I'm still sucking at food though.  As I eat a cookie.  And am having tacos for dinner.  Ugh.  It's hard.  It's not my husband's fault at all, but it's just easier when we both are on board with eating better.  I need to just stop buying and eating junk.  I did have a healthy salad for breakfast though.  :) It's so easy to have a healthy salad when you hate ALL salad dressings though :)

Oh and I ran in new socks today.  I <3 my new socks.  http://wrightsock.myshopify.com/collections/double-layer/products/running-ii I love these socks.  They were the first running sock that I bought and I have never switched.  I don't get blisters and they are so soft.