I have been too hard on myself so I bought a bikini

My Aunt Irene and my friend Marie pointed out to me on FB today that I'm being to hard on myself with my weight and all of that.

I started to think about it and I am being too hard on myself.  I am mad and upset with myself for gaining so much weight over the past few months that I think it is hindering my weight loss efforts.  I need to get back to this person, from 2011

I wasn't hard on myself back then and did practice positive self talk.  It's one of the things that really helped me lose weight.  I need to get back to that.

So in an effort to do that and get back to loving me and my body as it is, I bought a bikini :)

I have been eyeing this type of bathing suit for a couple of years now but have not been brave enough to even buy it.  But something always held be back.  Part of it was back in 8th grade I bought this super cute bikini.  It was tan and blue striped with this lacing part in the front on the top part.  I loved that and looking back I have no idea why I bought it.  I think because I was with my sisters and my friend and that's what they were buying and I didn't want to feel left out.  I wore it once.  Because the one time I wore it my Mom told me that I shouldn't wear a bikini since I was "full figured".  Ok, I was like a size 13ish when I bought it.  And her saying that, which I know, I know she didn't mean anything bad by it, it's just how many people think.  It's been taught that if you are over a particular size there are certain things you "just shouldn't wear" and a bikini and spandex are two of those things.  I got over the spandex thing (how many times have I read you have to earn the right to wear spandex?) as I wear that when I run.  All the time.

It's time I got over the bikini thing.  So I bought this:

Ok, so I did buy it in a smaller size than I am now.  But I bought it. And I will wear it.  Because there is no reason why I shouldnt or can't.