It's time to get real.

Like super real. 

I gained a lot of weight over the last part of last year.  I weighed in, in early January and was 241 lbs.  Again.  Which means that I gained like 20+ lbs.  You would think that seeing that number again would have motivated me a lot and I'd have those 20 lbs gone by now.

You'd be wrong.  I mean, I tried.  Kind of.  But just kept buying more junk food and eating too much and not exercising enough.  And I kept saying, well, when I start my new job, things will be easier and better and I'll get back on track for good.  I mean, I have a marathon in May and I'm going to Vegas in April.  I need to be exercising and eating well and running a lot.  It didn't quite happen.  I mean, I eat well for breakfast and lunch and then mess up for dinner and everything else when I'm not at work.  It's so easy to fall back into bad habits.  So.F-ing.Easy. 

I hate that this is so hard for me and that I make it harder on myself than it needs to be.  It's easy - eat less, move more.  But it's not that easy, I guess.  Anyway, I've been gaining and losing the same 9 lbs since then.  Because yes, I did see 250 again on the scale.  I have not seen that number since 2008?  It's been awhile.  None of my clothes fit and I'm miserable.

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.  You think by now, I would have learned better.  I haven't.  Maybe one day I will! :)

Anyway, I have set a super unreasonable goal for myself.  Probably not the best idea but I need to get on track and have something to wear to Vegas.  Even if I don't meet it, I will at least, I hope anyway, have worked exercise back in on a regular basis.  One thing I plan to start doing is walking the stairs at work on my 2 15 minute breaks.  I sit all day now and at least this will get me moving more during the day!! :)

Now on to happier things...

I was matched with my running buddy today!!  I learned about this great group from my friends from my running group on FB.  http://www.whoirun4.com/about-ir4/.  I can't wait to learn more about my buddy and his family! :) I ran my first miles for him today - I did 8 miles on the treadmill!!