Runners are crazy and other thoughts

I've already known this, but after my run yesterday morning, I believe it even more.


First, it was my birthday.  And what do I do?  I set my alarm for 5:15 am to go for a run.  While I didnt get to the park until 5:45 am but I went.  I hate getting up early for anything, but did so I could go running on my birthday.  I knew it was going to be way too hot to go later, so I woke up early to go. 

When I got to the park, I saw a man running, and he was running very carefully and slowly.  I figured he was either new to running or was coming back from an injury.  I caught up to him and passed him but before I passed him we talked a bit. 

Running guy: "I usually run much faster than this, but I have a a muscle injury"

I had to laugh and mentioned I understand injuries and have knee issues.  He just laughed and said "That's running for ya!" 

As I pass him and continue on my run, I have a couple of thoughts.  First, the only time I can pass anyone is if they are injured ;) lol and the other is how I know of many people who have been injured in some way while running.  And yet, most of them always go back to it or if they cant, they WANT to.   I've hurt my foot, my hip and my knee, and I still want to run.  It's so hard to explain why.  You would think I woudlnt want to, because of hurting myself, but that almost makes me want to do it more - to prove to myself that I can do it. 

Anyway, I had such an awesome run yesterday morning.  It was warm and a slow run, but I really enjoyed myself.  I felt so happy after my run, I cant even explain why.

I woke up early twice this week to go running, and I'm so glad I did.  There is something wonderful about running in the early morning before the day is started.  Tuesday morning was beautiful and perfect.  There was fog on the water and it was a crisp cool morning.  I loved it.  I will try to conintue running in the morning, I just need to go to bed earlier! :)

I'm not crazy, really!

But it's going to sound like I am.

Well maybe I am, since I am a runner and I think we're all slightly crazy.  We'd have to be, to some of the things we do.

But back to what I wanted to write about.  My favorite songs to run to have an inspirational quality to their lyrics.  Often times they may be about a bad break up.  And when I'm running, I sing along, and direct those lyrics to myself.  To my fat girl self.  She's like a bad ex that keeps coming back, asking to be forgiven, and like an idiot, I "take her back" and then give in to the bad eating habits, the bad living habits really.  I listen to her when she tells me its ok to skip a run, to stay in bed, to eat that half of a cheese cake (which I did last night), and all those other bad things.  I gain weight, and just feel miserable again. 
So when I'm running, I sing those songs to her.  Like this one.  In hopes of finding the strength to kick her out for good, and not take her back. I will one of these days. 

Its training season!

I officially start my training for the Toronto Half Marathon this coming week.  I'm so excited!  The half is May 6th, and I hope to register for it this week too!  I cant wait, I get to run my first half marathon, and finally meet in person one of the most awesome Chatter bitch ;)  She's going to totally beat me, but it'll be fun.

The training for MCM 2012 overlaps at a really good point with the half marathon training.  It's going to work out great!
I'm worried about my knee, but the knee strap really seems to be helping.  I haven't had any real pain running since I started using it.  I think because its pink, it makes it work even better ;)  I just really need to start doing more exercises that will help strengthen my hips and ass, and maybe I'll be able to run without it. 

I also need to lose about 30 lbs between now and May, and then another 30 lbs between May and October.  Its doable, I just need to focus, and remember why I want to lose weight.  And remember that the lighter I am, the faster I can go.  I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to balance work, school and training, but I want to do this so much.  I know I can do this. 

I cant wait!

I'm doing ok

I haven't been writing much here.  Usually that means that I'm not doing well.  I am doing pretty good.  I've had a few bad meals over the past 2 weeks, but overall, I'm happy with how I am doing.

I walked most days on my lunch last week, which was good, and then did a few runs on the treadmill too.  I ran today and did 5k, and my time was 40:28 or something, but I pushed myself the last mile, and ran that last mile in just over 11 minutes, which was cool.  It was hard! 

I bought a knee strap, and OMG!  It helps so much!  I've used it twice, and have not had any knee pain while running, or much after either.  I can almost feel my knee cap start to move, and the strap guides it back into place.  I'm sure thats not exactly what is happening, but thats almost what it feels like.  I love it.  I should have bought one sooner!  I still need to work on what caused the issue - weak thighs/ass and my weight, but its nice to not have knee pain while running. 
I weighed myself the other day, and I am down to 226.2.  I started on Jan 2, and was 233.  So I've lost just under 7 lbs.  Which is awesome. 

I need to figure out my training schedule soon, because I think I'm supposed to start training for the half marathon soon!

Lovely Run

I went running again today and did 2.2 miles.  It was such an nice run.  It was cold, around 25 degrees, and it was snowing and windy.  I don't typically like the cold, but I enjoyed my run today.  It was so pretty out.  The snow was fluffy and pretty. 

My time wasn't any better than the other day, I'm still in the 13:30s per mile, but thats ok.  I couldn't run faster anyway, due to the snowy, icy path.  I was able to run the entire way, which felt good.  My lungs didn't hurt as much as they did the other day, and while my legs are still sore, it's a good sore. 

I feel so much better.  Its amazing that just 3 short runs have done that for me.  I feel more like me. 

Tomorrow I hope to get up in the morning to work out before work.  I have such a hard time waking up in the morning, I hope that I can do it.  I need to work more on strength training to help my legs and hips, so I don't end up with my knee problem again.  Its been feeling ok during these runs, but I'm constantly aware of it, and every little thing I feel in my right leg, I start to worry its my knee again. 

Why, exactly, did I stop doing this?

2011 was an odd year for me.  I made it down to 202 lbs, but couldn't get things on track to keep it going down.  I then let all kinds of outside stress get to me, and allowed myself to slide back into old, bad habits.  Bad habits of over eating, eating unhealthy foods, and being overall lazy.  The first part of 2011 was good, I was on track, training for the MCM, and losing weight.  But after I hurt myself, and then added in school and a job change at work, I stopped. 

I haven't run on a regular basis in months. I had plenty of excuses why - no time, tired, too busy with work and school and just life in general. It was easier to not find time to go running. So I just stopped. And I stopped watching what I was eating.

And I gained 30 lbs. 30 lbs. Its taken me years to reach 202 lbs, and lose over 90 lbs. And in 4 months I gained back 30 lbs. This is the first year since 2006 that I ended the year heavier than I started it. 
I've been miserable. My attitude shows it, as does my body and my skin. 

I went running yesterday, and ran 2.2 miles.  It was cold and gray and windy.  And it was a hard run.  I had to walk every couple of minutes, and was out of breath for most of it.  But I realized how much I missed it, and loved it.  I went again today, and did 2.5 miles.  It was better, because I was with someone else (my awesome friend E and her new dog Rona!), it pushed me to keep running, when had I been alone I would have walked.  My legs are so sore, and I haven't been sore after a short run like today in years. 

After only 2 days of what could be considered "bad" runs if I was looking only at time, and how hard it was for how short of distances they were, I feel better. I feel happier and just better.  Thats why I just love running - it instantly makes me feel better about myself, my life, and everything.  These two "bad" runs reminded me of what I lost when I stopped.  I love being out there, even on the cold and wet days. 

I have a few goals, fitness wise, for 2012.  First - I need to get back to running and working out on a regular basis.  I have to, because I have 2 big races already planned for the year.  I have the Toronto Half Marathon with my wonderful friend, K, and then the MCM with another wonderful friend, N and my Dad.  And 2nd, to get under 200 lbs.  I can do this, I was almost there about 6 months ago!  There is no reason I can not do that, and even get to my goal weight this year.  I know its going to be harder because of this added weight I gained back.  But I can do this.  

And last, I want to beat my miles run in 2011.  I ran 363.274 miles in 2011, and I want to run 500 in 2012.  At least. 

Anyway, I ended 2011 with a run, and started 2012 with a run.  I hope that I'm able to focus on myself, and keep these promises and goals I've made and hope to make 2012 a great year for myself.

I've been away for awhile

I've just been busy, and also, not eating right or running on a regular basis.  I need to get back to writing here, because it helps me so much to reflect on where I've been, and where I'm going. 

I've gained about 10 lbs in the past couple of months.  I don't remember if I posted about that at all.  I'm not happy about it, and it was actually 15 lbs, I've been able to lose 5 so far.  I just have so many excuses, and sometimes its just so much easier to fall back on those excuses and not do what I know I need to.
I have this week off of work, and will hopefully use it to get back on track, and back to running.  I'm planning to get on the treadmill in a little while, since its cold and raining outside.  I'm not that hardcore! 

Anyway, I hope to start writing here more again, because it will probably mean that I'm running more!