Long Run Sundays are back (and thank you RFRC!!)

And I am so glad that they are.  Yesterday just really reminded me why I love running so much and how much it has changed me.

Yesterday had the possiblity for being a tough day for me.  In the past it usually is.  I know I'm being vague but it's not something I'm ready to share publicly.  Maybe one day.  As it plays a lot into why I gained so much weight and hated myself so much. 

Anyway, so often I deal with my sad/bad/mad feelings by eating.  I still do it but have gotten better.  When I realized what yesterday was (because I had forgotten... crazy to think that could happen) I thought, well, I could use it as an excuse to not do anything, like the 8 mile run I had planned and maybe get something to snack on.  Because you know, it had the potential to upset me. 

I needed to do 8 miles yesterday because I have not been training well for this half marathon so I really NEEDED to get that run in.  didn't didnt want to do it.  It was not nice out, the wind was blowing, it was cold, it was cloudy, I was tired.  But I did not want to do it on the treadmill - because really, who wants to run 2 hours on the treadmill??  I sure don't!! 

Well, I complained on FB and thankfully my friends from RFRC gave me a virtual kick in the ass and I gave in and went out running. 

Yes it was cold, cloudy and windy.  But it was also so NICE out.  It was quiet and peaceful.  I felt great once I started.  I kept up with my intervals run/walk 3:00/1:30.  I also ended up running the last mile and made sure that it was my fastest mile!  I'm still extremely slow and I hate it.  But I enjoyed myself so much that I did not really care!  I kept a steady pace and felt so amazing when I finished.  As I almost always do after a long run.  I am amazed that I can do this.  That I run and I LIKE it.  That I can move myself for 2 hours voluntarily.  That my legs can just keep moving and don't get tired on me.  I feel so lucky that I discovered running almost 4 years ago.  I still do not know why I even thought I should try running that Memorial Day weekend up north, but I did it and fell instantly in love. 

I'm still feeling good today even though I did not sleep much last night. caffeine the caffine I took for my run kept me up.  But I love how much running can lift my mood and make me feel so good. 

And I love that I went running for 8 miles yesterday; on March 24th.  I did not feel sad and I felt I was dedicating my miles to what that day is to me.  I felt peaceful and happy.  And loved and that I love my life and I do not regret anything that has happened.  It has made me into the person I am today. 

And I kind of like that person :)

You know you're doing good....

When the loose skin starts to appear again ;)  You would think I'd be upset over the loose skin on my stomach but I am actually GLAD to see it.  It means I've lost weight.  I have too!  I weighed in today at 229.8!! :) And I lost an inch around my hips (50 in from 51 in.... yeah I have a big ass!) and a half inch around my waist (35 from 35.5), the inches I've lost since Feb 17th.

But as a recap:

Jan 1st: 241 lbs (I was really bloated)
Waist: 37 inches
Hips - 52 inches

Today, March 17th: 229.8 lbs
Waist: 35
Hips: 50

So yay!  I've lost 11.2 lbs since Jan 1st, 2 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my hips.  I'm happy to see that.  Really happy.  I'm also happy because my final grade in my anatomy and physiology class was an A!! :) I'm feeling good about things!  I'm starting to feel more like me again.  I feel like I lost "me" over the past year and a half and I'm feeling like maybe I can see myself again.  Slowly. 

Anyway, yesterday I worked out!  I did 2.5 slow miles on the treadmill and then did a 40 min work out DVD.  It's a dance workout DVD and I totally suck at any sort of dancing but it burns calories and is kind of fun.  I ended up at just over 1900 calories for the day and even had almost 300 calories I could have ate, but did not.  With my workouts, I was allowed 2200.

My plans for today are:  to get outside and run/walk 6 miles.  I have a new watch that the watch fairy sent me and I get to test it out!  I also need to finish up some homework.  But the sun is out so it can't be a bad day!

Me again!

I'm back! :) So I ended up yesterday at 1850 calories for the day.  I had some issues with my dessert I had.  I kept adding things to it because it was not turning out like I wanted it too.  So the frozen peaches went into the Magic Bullet (totally awesome - you need one if you don't have one) and because I don't keep juice or anything in the house, it was impossible to blend just the frozen peaches.  I then added a pear.  That didn't help.  It blended the pear but that was it.  I then added in some yogurt.  That worked.  It turned it into a super delicious pear peach vanilla smoothie/soft ice cream.  Tonight, I'll just have the peaches and yogurt instead of adding in the pear.  They aren't quite as ripe as I like them anyway.

I am at just over 1600 calories for the day today.  I'll probably have peaches and yogurt later though.  I'm not all "green" for everything else though - my sodium has been high and other nutrients have been low. I keep forgetting to take my vitamin!  I log my food on www.nutrimirror.com, if you in the "green" it means that you're doing well, when it's red, things are either over or under. It's a good site!

I have had two decent days eating wise - I just need to work on exercising.  Weekends are easier for me because I can sleep in and work out whenever I want.  And that is the plan for tomorrow and Sunday. 

I'm super stressed about work - of course.  Things are just not going well there.  I hate my job and am just so unhappy.  It spills into other areas of my life and I just the hate and dislike take me over.  I hate that and I need to change it.  It's hard though when you HAVE to go there because there are just no other options right now.  I am hoping things work out for me elsewhere.  I really need it to. 

Oh AND!  I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up with an A- in anatomy and physiology.  Seriously awesome.  :) :) :)

I am still alive!

I've been busy the past few months.  Busy with school and work.  And busy avoiding eating well and exercising on a regular basis, consistently. 

Same old story.  I have let stress and work get to me.  Again.  I have been gaining and losing the same 5 to 10 lbs over the past what... year?  Year and a half?  It's been a long time.

But I'm back.  I'm on spring break (well I still have 2 weeks left of my online class) and I am going to try to get back on track.  For real.  I did really well in January when I was doing a no junk food challenge.  I was exercising and counting calories.  I was doing well. Then my period.  Of course.  That bitch.  She's always causing issues!  And I caved and ate junk food and could not get back on track.

I've been going back and forth lately with doing ok and then eating 4 packzis in one night (that was last night.  Not too sure WHY Mestills stil had them....). 

I can't keep doing this.  I'm tired of the fact that nothing fits.  That I'm in the 230s again.  That I can barely run.  I have a half marathon in April.  And I can barely run 4.5 miles.  I have a month to get in shape for it.  I need to - I want a PR! 

I started counting calories again today.  I'm toying around with the idea of making a FB weight loss page or something, but I want to try to keep this blog up to date first.  Anyway, I'm doing well calorie wise - 1550 for the day and I plan on having a snack later - frozen peaches. 

I want to get up tomorrow and run in the morning.  Thankfully I am dead tired and will probably pass out soon, so I should be able to run tomorrow morning.  I have to take the Cokes to the vet after work, so it will work better to run before work.